Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

 

       And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, 

       and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.

 

       And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field,

       but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him (Genesis 2:18-20).
 

 

Man was created to be a social creature. God said, "it is not good for man to be alone." It is interesting that man was lonely even though he had fellowship with God. This implies that God alone was not enough for man. This may be a shocking thought, but the Lord created man to need fellowship with Him, as well as with those of his own kind.

 

The Lord allowed the man to seek through all of creation to find the helper suitable for him, but one was not found. The Lord knows the end from the beginning, so why didn't He just tell the man that none of these helpers was the one that he was seeking, and put him to sleep and bring forth the woman? It is for the same reason that the Lord will often let us chase many endeavors in our lives to seek fulfillment, even though He already knows this is futile. The Lord created man to be free and He will not violate that freedom. The Lord had already said that He would make a helper suitable to man, but man still had to search, and the Lord let him. He will also let us chase many fruitless endeavors, if we insist on having to prove something to ourselves.

 

Many still spend their lives making the same search that Adam did. They can view women as sex objects, but not as the source of fellowship that can touch the deepest needs of their hearts, and cure the loneliness. Therefore, men often seek fulfillment in their professions, sports, hobbies, raising animals, etc. These are not necessarily bad, and can be fulfilling to a degree, but none of these will ever be suitable for filling the void that can only be filled when the suitable helpmate is found.

 

However, we must not esteem the fellowship with our mates above our fellowship with God. Our need for Him is greater. Nevertheless, there will be a void in our hearts that can only be filled with a proper relationship to our mates. We must have fellowship with God and our mates to be complete. The proper relationship between a man and a woman is a wonderful relationship that God created to help us better understand our union with Him. This relationship is needed, but it can never substitute for the greater need for Him.

 

If we do not love God more than we love our mates, we will not love our mates as much as we should. Our relationship to God was created first and must always remain first. Even so, as we see in I John 4:20: "If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." Our relationship to other people is a good barometer of our relationship to God. If we truly love God, it will be manifested in our love for others. This will be especially true in our love for our mates, which is intended to be a reflection of Christ's love for the church. Our relationship to other people is a good barometer of our relationship to God. If we truly love God, it will be manifested in our love for others. This will be especially true in our love for our mates, which is intended to be a reflection of Christ's love for the church.

 

Because loneliness is the first thing God said was not good, if we are seeking to love and help our neighbors, we should especially watch out for the lonely. This does not just mean those who are living alone. You can be in a crowd and be lonely. Loneliness is the result of not having fellowship that goes beyond the superficial to touch the soul. Deep, meaningful fellowship is essential for our mental, physical, and spiritual wholeness. The fellowship that we were created to have is not an either/or situation between God and men, but rather both. If we are lonely, it is because we have not kept the balance between them properly.

 

Even so, many try to find the fulfillment that they can only find in their relationship to God through their mates, or theirs, and even those in the church. Usually, this will lead to frustration that will damage our relationship to our mates and others, because we will begin to feel that they are not enough for us. They aren't, because they can never take the place of God in our lives.